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Written by: Olatunde Howard MA, LMFT
Forgiven for Reconciliation
Forgiven for Reconciliation by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFT(I’m writing as an LMFT who follows Jesus. For readers who do not follow Him, what I’m writing can still be helpful to you.) The reason God is so forgiving is that He is so relational.Forgiveness is God’s passion...
Are you sleeping with the enemy?
Are you sleeping with the enemy? by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFTThe more I do couple’s therapy, the more convinced I am that couples have one essential problem, and one only: enmity. John Gottman calls it “contempt.” It’s when couples assume the worst about each...
How “Rebounding” Can Be Healthy
How “Rebounding” Can Be Healthy by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFT“Instead of waiting to get better before you meet a guy, why don’t you meet a guy and see if that helps you get better?” A line from the movie “Gone”. I hear it all the time. I don’t want to “rebound.” I...
Are you okay RIGHT NOW?
Are you okay RIGHT NOW? by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFTSay I go into the lobby of One-Eighty. I’m going to get a couple to bring them to my office for couples therapy. When I get to the lobby, they are laughing, giggling, and chuckling. Clearly happy. Clearly happy with...
How can you be okay (and stay okay) RIGHT NOW?
How can you be okay (and stay okay) RIGHT NOW? by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFTThe answer is actually simple… I would even say the execution of the answer is simple. Typically, the truth is not complicated–especially when we’re talking about relationships. In fact, I...
HOW TO HAVE AN INTIMATE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP
HOW TO HAVE AN INTIMATE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFTOne of the most sought after things in life is an intimate romantic relationship. I have experienced this personally; and I continue to experience it as a consistent therapeutic goal of my...
Getting to Know Someone
Getting to Know Someone by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFTHow long does it take to “get to know someone?” Really. Before we even answer that question, what does it even mean to actually know another person? I’ve thought about this based on a recent conversation, a recent...
Are You “Too Sensitive?”
ARE YOU “TOO SENSITIVE?” by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFTOr too serious...or too intense...or too focused...or too anything? I am. At least that’s what I’ve been told most of my life. In fact, my girlfriend in Jr. High broke up with me because she said I was “too...
The One Thing Necessary for Couples to Make It
The One Thing Necessary for Couples to Make It by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFTI love working with couples. It’s an honor for me to share in their world for a little less than an hour. They can be fun to watch and listen to. It can also be torturous, depending on the...
Do colors make you mad?
For real. Like, when you go into an office, room, or place, do you leave feeling…agitated? But can’t quite put your finger on why? Then later you think, “It was the vibe of the place. That’s what it was!” And after you think about what the vibe was, it dawns on you.
The Magic of Therapy is Clarity
I’ve noticed that some clients think therapists are magicians and that therapy is magic. And if the magic doesn’t kick in after one or two sessions (3 tops!), then therapy isn’t working. Now the thing is, therapy can begin to “work” after one or two sessions, depending on the client and the presenting problem. It may even work after one session, and this is where therapy can be magical–if we understand what the magic really is.
A Life Without Regret?
I used to want to live a life without regret. That was my actual goal. By a life without regret, I meant a life with a clear conscience. A life where I don’t make stupid or avoidable mistakes that have lasting consequences. And that is still my goal. But I stumbled on something in my time of meditation:
Is This Therapist a Good Fit?
Is this therapist a good fit? (How to know in 15 minutes or less) by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFTYou need therapy, but you don’t know where to start. You look up therapists. You find one you think you might like. But you’re wondering how to know if this therapist is...
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