Are you okay RIGHT NOW?
by Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFT
Say I go into the lobby of One-Eighty. I’m going to get a couple to bring them to my office for couples therapy. When I get to the lobby, they are laughing, giggling, and chuckling. Clearly happy. Clearly happy with each other at that moment. So I bring them to my office, and they talk about an argument they had 9 days ago. They get mad at each other in my office about that argument. And they leave my office mad.
Remember, they came in happy, and they left angry.
How would that be good therapy?
When clients leave my office, they should feel better, or at least feel the same, not feel worse.
Now imagine I go to the lobby to get another couple, but this time one of them is on one side of the lobby frowning with folded arms, breathing heavily. The other is on the opposite side of the lobby, crying. That couple has a problem on that day, for that session.
The first couple is okay, right now.
The second couple is not okay, right now.
So the question I’ve come to ask my clients, whether couples or individuals is this:
Are you okay,
right now?
Because if we’re honest with each other, that’s what we want: to be okay right now–
Satisfied with life and ourselves,
not anxious or depressed,
intimately connected with someone…
right now.
The question is, how?
How can we be okay,
and stay okay,
right now?
Olatunde Howard, MA, LMFT
Olatunde is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Read Full Bio
Category
Trauma & Healing
Related Topics
coping · emotional wellness · self-awareness
More in Trauma & Healing
What is “Emotional Healing”?
[dipi_breadcrumbs hide_home="on" bc_items_alignment="dipi-bc-center" bc_is_post_type_root="on"...
Spiritual and Religious Trauma
[dipi_breadcrumbs hide_home="on" bc_items_alignment="dipi-bc-center" bc_is_post_type_root="on"...
Religious Trauma
Over the last few weeks we have been hearing a lot of stuff about the Ashley Madison hack. This has sparked many conversations regarding the surprising names that have been found on that list, the most notably being Josh Duggar. Nearly everyday I hear of broken individuals and broken families because of extra-marital affairs, pornography, lying or a countless other ways …
All therapists at One-Eighty Counseling, P.A. are contractors and the information and opinions posted in each individual therapists' blog, is the expressed professional and/or personal opinion of that therapist. One-Eighty Counseling, P.A. does not endorse any specific opinion and is not responsible for the professional and/or personal opinions of the contractor/individual therapist