Top 5 things I wish I could tell everyone about Conscious Discipline

by Jenn Lowe, M.A., LPCA

Top 5 things I wish I could tell everyone about Conscious Discipline

The North Carolina Play Therapy Board hosted Kim Hughes for our fall conference this year. Kim Hughes presented from Becky Bailey’s Conscious Discipline Model. Here are the top 5 takeaways I wish I could share with all parents.

Number 5

Children need connections to survive and to thrive! There are 4 critical elements to connection;

Eye Contact:
Make sure to make eye contact with your loved ones each day. Which may require extra effort in today’s smartphone generation
Sharing time and acceptance in the present moment. Love is about presence not presents
The only sense that we can’t live without! Children need 8 positive touches a day. Try counting today and try to get to 8, hugs, high-fives, a quick rub on the back as they pass by. (Personally I have found this easy with my 5 month old and more difficult with a 10 year old boy)
Boosts dopamine, increases attention span, and helps social development

Handout Link

Number 4

Children must have mental images of what to do. When my son Caleb was 4 we struggled with bedtime, I made him a list of things to do at bedtime and each one had a picture of HIM doing the task. Fast forward 6 years we are having trouble with people cleaning up after themselves in the bathroom. (Missing toothpaste caps, blue crest all over the sink basin, etc.) Why did I forget about the pictures? A clean up list with PICTURES is on my list of things to do today.

Number 3

A common reason why children come for therapy is due to behavior issues, trouble hearing NO, difficult temperaments, disobedience. Young children with difficult temperaments need 4 things: to be seen, to be soothed, to be safe, and to be stimulated.

Number 2

How do we change behavior? How do we create new habits? Neuroplasticity!!!! I explain this to EVERYONE who comes to therapy. This video is an AWESOME explanation.

Number 1

How to Make A Bully From Scratch? I found this video incredibly moving and a little bit sad. It reminded me of a something Scott Riviere says during his trainings, “Love is the only thing that changes people.” Another video.

For more information on Conscious Discipline visit

The website has resources for parents, teachers, and mental health professionals. Lots of great free resources! Also please feel free to email me if I can help in any way.

Jenn Lowe, M.A., LPCA

Is a licensed professional counselor associate. Jenn provides individual counseling to children, adolescents, and women. She also provides family counseling. Jenn believes in building a strong therapeutic alliance and relationship built on trust with her clients. After building a relationship it is her goal to develop mutually assigned upon goals. She uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), client-centered approaches, as well as using ... (read more by Jenn Lowe)

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